Skinny jeans, basketball jerseys, and popped collars... oh my

There's a song by Brad Paisley called "Waiting on a Woman."  For those of you who do not partake in the genre twang, guitars, and cowboy boots (ahem, country), the lyrics are as follows:

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said, ''I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on.''
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah, she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

97% of the female (and male) population can nod and smile and know that this is one of the more truer lyrics that have ever been sung about a woman.  In much of our defense, there is a reason why we take so long to get ready (and potentially run late).  The reason is that most of us are over analyzing what we are wearing.  We don't want to look like a train wreck going out.  You know, we'd like to not appear on PeopleofWalmart.com at any point in our lives.

Why do I open with this?  Because fellas, sometimes we'd like you to put  just a little more thought in how you're coming across to us ladies.  Sometimes that extra thirty minutes... to maybe read an article like this would help you.  Appearance isn't everything, but first impressions (as we have said before) are.  Some of your apparel choices immediately make us cringe.

Click below to read the items that our readers have voted as the most likely clothing choices to become an immediate turn off...

For Peter Pan and Other Lost Boys

In the modern world of big girls and boys, responsible fun, and jobs, isn't it nice to know that there is always a group of guys that refuse to act anywhere near their age? The Lost Boys, together with Peter Pan in Never Land, make my heart flutter with their refusal to supposedly conform! Screw the social nicety of treating women like equals or with any semblance of respect! They're horrible bitches, but they do have boobs that can be gawked at to objectivity and embarrass any girl until she's red in the face ... obviously from blushing from flattery. Nothing says they care about a woman like staring intensely at her chest, mumbling about its firmness or size under their breath, and asking her to repeat her comment. When lady folk say they want to be treated like humans, they do not actually mean it because they totally like being considered the weaker submissive sex.

As if it is not challenging enough to find a connection with someone, Lost Boys, you refuse to see that we are not aiming to be your ball-and-chain. Shockingly, we have like our freedom, being with ourselves, hanging out with our friends without you in tow, and just enjoying the activities we loved before we knew you. We are not plotting your ultimate demise and emasculation by forcing you to call us every five minutes when you are out with your friends, making a list of chores for you, making you spend nights in watching Katherine Heigl movies, and withholding sex. (Although, it is highly unlikely you will be getting any action from us because in all honesty, you are a bit of a dick.)

In place of acting as if women are the root of all evil as well as your problems, self-evaluation comes in handy. Instead of taking a woman's refusal as a question of her sexuality and obviously being a lesbian, consider that your hyper-aggressive behavior making her uncomfortable and possibly like prey. Or maybe she is really not interested. If you are interested in sleeping with one of us, try not to be crude, but also, do not expect us all to be ready and willing to jump your bones. Until you realize that parading around as a Lost Boy is barely appealing even when you are in your early twenties, you are driving away any or all women you want to be with as you keep up the elusive, immature, and often misogynistic lifestyle. If time alone is what you want, congratulations, you have it ... and will for a long time.

Losing the Race at the Starting Gate

Today’s lesson ladies and gents:
How to kill a relationship before it even begins… way before. No, seriously, like before we even want to consider going out on a date with you beginning.
(Thanks for the topic, Betty.)

You could possibly consider this a continuation of every other post we’ve had. Think of this as more hints and tips on what NOT to do when trying to score a date. Our third post goes back to the online environment since the majority of us here have dealt with online creepers in one form or another.

In general, trying to snag a date with somebody online (whether it is a dating site, somebody you like on facebook, or some other random internet place) consists of a normal pattern for those who are semi-responsible or concerned for their own well being. I have to stress "responsible" people. There are some guys and gals on dating sites who will give out their cell numbers to anything that has enough fingers to text a hook up location without any type of caution or care. This pattern is not usually used by said people. Said people are typically not the people writing for this blog. We say typical because well, even we admit that sometimes a one-night stand isn’t the worst thing in the world…. But we digress from the point of this matter.

The responsible pattern (that we have just admitted some of us are prone to stray from on an occasion once in awhile) is:

1. Send a message to somebody who you find interesting and see if they respond.
2. Converse back and forth about common interests to get a few feelers on personality and well, you know, to try and gauge if the person is a total nut case.
3. Exchange some instant messages or texts. (Some choose to skip this step and go straight to 4 which is okay.)
4. Meet up if said person passes the first three items.

Most people hope when hitting send on a message to get to step 4. Some people manage to go from step 1 to step -4 all with the click of the button. For those of you with no imagination, step -4 is the step where you get your a$$ blocked from all communication attempts known to man.

Just because I'm talking to you, doesn't mean I'm going to F@#k you!

Let's start this off with stating that I'm new. I'm super new to this dating thing. Just getting out of a long term relationship (and still being in my 20s), I am pretty green to the social ritual known as "dating". I'm not ready to get into online dating (and reading about p.j.'s horror stories, I think I may stay out of that realm for a bit) or even speed dating (do they still even do that?). I'm trying the good old fashioned, going out to bars with my friends and maybe finding a good guy that doesn't have an Oedipus complex. I said maybe. I didn't say that that was my night's mission. That's just a bonus to the night.

I said that I was new to the dating scene, but I'm not an idiot. I've gone to bars with single friends, I've sipped my dirty Grey Goose martini while they shamelessly flirt with the cute guy at the end of the bar. I've watched. I've joked with the bartender. I've giggled. I didn't think I needed to pay attention to flirting faux pas until my relationship fell apart a year ago. Damn, I should have taken notes.

No, I don't want 2B UR Princess Leia.

Since I'm the first one of us four to figure out how to create my own profile, I suppose I am the one that is either going to intrigue you all to stay and keep reading our misadventures.  Or... scare you off so you never return.  Of course, I'm hoping for the former.  We have to do something with this stuff!  So blogosphere, here we go.

Background

Let me give you a little background on me.  I'm a single mom.  I own my own house.  I own my own car.  I have a career.  Not a job, a career.  I'm pretty laid back and pretty tolerant of most people.  (In my own mind... even if I do think some boys are stupid and need rocks thrown at them.)  I empathize with people way more than I should.  So needless to say, I have tolerated a lot of crap in my lifetime much to my own detriment.  Anywho.

So my dating ventures often begin online in the scary word of Internet dating.  And let's just say, it's been a treat.

Today's topic:  Internet Pick Up Lines (or messages)

The concept

The first thing I have to stress about this blog is:  we are not man haters.  That is usually the first thing that pops into somebody's mind when females start writing about their crappy experiences in dating.  We love guys.  If we didn't, we wouldn't be writing this blog or have experiences to share.  This blog is mostly about the men who really behave like boys and leave us baffled.  Believe us, we understand that there are plenty of women out there who behave like immature high school girls.  In no way are we oblivious to that fact.

The idea of this blog came about after sharing many of the funny pickup lines, pathetic stories, and general follies of our relationships, dating, and dating site adventures.  We needed a forum to share and maybe, just maybe get advice from any men out there who want to share with us.  Hopefully, somebody will gain insight from something we have to say.  Or maybe us ladies will learn a thing or two as well. And really, much of what we write can be applied to both genders.  It just so happens that this staff is all female.  (And no, not all of us are single either.)

Nothing on this site is meant to be ill-willed... okay, maybe some of it.  Everybody has had an experience or two (or ten) with a douchey person. The first person who slams us for our opinions needs to check themselves.  Who hasn't had a bad relationship experience that they've shared on facebook, twitter, text message, verbally, or on a stone tablet? 

Bare with us as we figure out this blogging thing and get stuff set up as we'd like.  You may see changes over time as P.J. figures out this blogger stuff.

-TR@B staff
(Paisley Jane, Sydney Rose Lee, and company)

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If anybody would like to be a guest author on this site (male or female), please feel free to email us.  We will gladly post guest stories.  Our only requirement is that you make everything as anonymous as possible.  No real names.